I have been depressed for 6 years now. Yes, I know. A long time. Chances are some of you are depressed for a long time too. Or you know you are on the train that leads to depresaville, but you do not know how to stop it.Now every depressed person is very similar, and yet so very different and unique. Click To Tweet
You probably tried and failed to “cure” your depression million times just like I did. But this time, something happened and it worked. So what changed?
To explain the change, I have to address why previous methods didn’t work, and why my depression got so out of hand, and probably why your depression is getting worse too. However, before going there, i need you to read following!
Disclaimer: I am not medical professional, or any kind of specialist. I am blogging about my experience with depression, and my efforts to turn the life around. These are purely my opinions, and do not substitute medical advice or help.
Having clear that up, let’s get into things. Here are two reasons why my depression got so bad, and why yours is probably getting too.
- Not addressing the core cause – I told you I tried thousands of things, and failed. What I tried tho, was to heal a broken leg with a band aid. I tried doing sports; I tried socializing; I tried travelling; I tried engaging myself in meaningful work. I only never did one thing – address what was making me unhappy.
The way I see depression is that it comes from dissatisfaction with certain situation, and it grows from disability to address that situation.
I felt powerless to change what was making me unhappy. So I tried finding joy in different things. The only problem with that approach is – IT DOESN’T WORK!! That is why, in my opinion, medication and typical approach to depression generally does not work. 1 hour of sport will yes, increase your serotonin levels for a period of time.
But because no matter the happiness you experience in different aspects of your life, until you fix the things that are making you unhappy, they will continue to make you unhappy.
In my case, my depression started when I lost my son towards the end of pregnancy. At the beginning of the pregnancy we moved to the new home. It was also the time I started suffering with fibromyalgia, but did not know it at the time. As I was trying to mourn the loss, I started hating every single thing about my home. I also, on top of the frustration and unhappiness I felt from losing my son, hated what fibromyalgia was doing to my body. Not only did I not lose the pregnancy weight, but also I started gaining more. I felt hopeless. My husband did not want to move from our new home I hated with from bottom of my broken heart. Also, I felt absolutely hopeless not being able to figure out was happening with my health and looks. So somehow, I decided that maybe I can get over the unhappiness by changing something in my life. I enrolled university to get a bachelor degree in marketing. See, this is what I meant when I said it was like trying to heal a broken leg with a band aid. The same problems were still there. Only, by time, the problems started growing bigger. My health was declining even more. My appearance was changing even more. My hate of our family home started to affect my housekeeping, my parenting, and eventually my marriage. 6 years later, and things culminated this September. I spent 2 months in bed suffering from severe fibromyalgia episode. Incidentally, my doctor referred me to a rheumatologist for suspected lupus. Eventually, it led me to the diagnosis of fibromyalgia and treatment. At the same time, there was a problem in our home that forced us to start looking for different homes. And all of the sudden, just like that within two weeks I went from suicidal to as normal as one can get.
So what I want you to do now is to think well and hard what is making you unhappy. Chances are you will not have to think that hard. If that doesn’t work, I want you to go back to the time the depression started creeping in? Any major change? Anything particular that started it?
Once you know the what makes you unhappy, you know what you have to change to get back on happiness track.
That is, unless you are do the same thing I did. And that would be a second reason why your depression got so bad.
- You delay dealing with it – Maybe I would address the core cause much sooner, if only I didn’t purposely delay dealing with things. But instead of focusing on the real issues, I put them on hold until I finished my bachelor.
Yes, you read that right.
I neglected my health and I delayed dealing with my depression because I did not have neither time, nor strength to address it during those days. I was a busy mom of two (I had another child mid through university, in the middle of the whole mess), who also stopped life for few months to care for a grandpa with terminal cancer, and grandma after having an open heart surgery. I literally pushed myself to fall apart.
So second thing I want you to do is to think what is stopping you from dealing with the problems.
Hopefully, once you addressed those 2 major reasons you can stop your depression in the tracks like I am doing now.
Let me know in comments if this helped you discover what makes you unhappy, and reasons you are delaying dealing with it. if you find this post helpful please subscribe.